Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
