u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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