the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
