im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
