yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
