YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
