I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
