She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize