RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
