she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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