Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
