Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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