The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Found your dick twin last night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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