i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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