Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
