My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
