gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
