everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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