office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
