So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my poor anus
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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