My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And then he peed in my hair
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