dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
