And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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