wat bout pragnant strippers??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
