have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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