I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
