So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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