I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
