I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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