Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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