Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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