I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
