so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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