i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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