so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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