Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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