the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
