just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
