I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
