No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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