She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
