Kiss
Puke
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
