her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize