I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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