Me. At least after what I've been through.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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