Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
