he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
