I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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