Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
