I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
