you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just gift wrapped bread.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
