Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
