Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
