I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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