??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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