last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
