Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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