so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
