you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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