My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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