the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
