If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
