we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize