OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we made out on top of his cat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
