im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize