I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
