You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
