Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
